2005-12-29 - 11:59 p.m.
tired
well, it was nice while it lasted, wasn't it? the calm, that is. i tried my best, couldn't always keep the anger away, but i kept it from staying. and i was positive and loving and sweet and the house was clean and i put dinner on the table nearly every night and worked a job i hate with a smile on my face and gave your daughter a joyful Christmas and none of the things you promised would happen happened. you were not more attentive or more affectionate, unless i was first. you did not tell me you loved me unless i said it first. and romance is a bad word around here. bad because you want no part of it and bad because it makes me cry to think of it. to think of all the things you were and no longer are. i am an afterthought and an inconvenience and the butt of your jokes. and i am tired. just. fucking. tired.

previous - next